Ok, so the title was actually used to draw your attention (lol), but read on…
The most difficult age for any man is probably between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something, to be someone is so immense. When you look around you, everyone seems to be doing something for themselves; people seem to be living a life you only dream of
You have applied for jobs and the results have been more disappointing than Besigye’s shot a Presidency. Sadly this is the age when if not careful, one is consumed by alcohol or drugs because the disappointments become too much and you find alternative ways to face reality.
Worse is when a few people you studied with have been lucky enough to land jobs, soon your circle of friends grows thinner.
Mostly they don’t even cut you out but you be real with yourself and cut yourself out. I mean, what will you do when you are in a WhatsApp group of friends discussing last week’s trip to Zanzibar and planning another road trip to Kigali while you’re not sure of what your next meal would be? Most times you’d follow the conversation silently, all alone like a cross on a grave. Soon you realize this is no longer your kind of crowd because the more you stick around the more the pressure to be something takes a toll
You know when stories about house parties come up and you act deaf because you don’t know where an extra 5 guys would fit in your flat.
Have you ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone on the market or how British Airways offers shit services and you can feel your heart whisper to you, ‘bro this is chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that talks about boda boda’.
But you sit there as these people get lost in their lifestyle conversations; you’re like a secretary taking minutes in a meeting. You’re totally forgotten like one of a woman’s breasts during foreplay.
Once in a while, one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another drink and you wonder if you should just say No and head home, but head home to what? So you grudgingly drop in the “I will have just one last one” lie.
After a few years of job haunting, you are now ready to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s fart as long as it pays, so you end up as an office messenger in one blue chip company in town.
To imagine that 3 years of studying and getting a degree is now reduced to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not doing that, you are being sent for cheap lunch by the employees when they are broke and they can’t order with hello food.
This is when conversations about where people studied surface, you go silent, it’s no longer of any use to say you also reached University. Once in a while you will bump into your now well off classmates, they would offer you lunch, but not even eating the meals at caffesserie will make you feel better about yourself. In your mind you wish instead they would give you the 30k and you sort your meals for the next couple of days.
As usual, you’ll have photos taken and uploaded on Instagram, but always it’s your face that would look odd one out. Not even the best filters can hide a face which has borne the city dust and survives on boiled beans.
The worst mistake you can do during this period is to try dating. There’s nothing that a person going through such times can offer in terms of today’s idea of love. How are you going to do evening romantic walks when you’re tired from walking, delivering letters in offices around town?
What will you tell your lady when she says she wants to go for Nile Gold Jazz Safari? That your financial religion doesn’t allow it? This is the age when you sit back and watch the ladies you would want to date, dating or getting married to guys 10 years older than you and you can’t blame them – it’s only that your life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in life.
Some of the ladies you meet during this period, if you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28 and if by then your life is still in disarray like Liverpool’s performance in the EPL then my friend, be prepared for a walk out.
This is the age when you learn a lot about life, if you can hack through this stage, your only hardship would be losing your parents. This stage teaches you a lot about perseverance, about appreciating the small wins you have each day. It teaches you something about friendship, love, career growth and personal responsibility. This is always your rise or fall moment depending on the choices you make.
How you live your life in 30’s is determined by how you would have handled your life in this phase. I haven’t been long in my 20’s but I won’t wait until this phase reaches me before I start doing something about it. That’s why I always ask, “Are you working on your dreams today?”